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Eyes can't look at you any other way.

Date: 2010-11-30 22:35
Subject: Hello Out There *echo echo*
Security: Public

Hey everyone,

So I'm not sure if there will be anyone reading this, but I'm bored so I decided to do this thing. I know I haven't written anything in like forever...hopefully I will get back in the swing of it all.

Day One: Ten random facts about yourself.

Day Two: Nine things you do everyday.
Day Three: Eight things that annoy you .
Day Four: Seven fears/phobias.
Day Five: Six songs that you’re addicted to.
Day Six: Five things you can’t live without.
Day Seven: Four memories you won’t forget.
Day Eight: Three words you can’t go a day without using.
Day Nine: Two things you wish you could do.
Day Ten: One person you can trust.  

1. I'm seventeen years old
2. I'm originally from California but moved to Texas...big culture shock haha.
3. I am a senior in high school and work as Santa's Helper in the mall. I take little kiddies pictures :)
4. I love reading fanfiction, which is the main reason I started writing. RPF is my favorite...I don't know why people are so against it.
5. Kristen Stewart is my idol/role model/inspiration/imaginary best friend haha. & I truly believe Robert Pattinson is the sexiest man alive ;)
6. I would like to study journalism or social media while in college. My dream is to become a screen writer or do some sort of career in media.
7. I love british things (especially mini coopers) and want to live in London for a while.
8. My all time favorite movie is Adventureland.
9. I am OBSESSED with kings of leon. I also love Band of Horses, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and tons of other music. I generally prefer older stuff and love rock.
10. My favorite book is Looking for Alaska-John Green. Go read it!

Okay, so now I wanna hear from you guys...post your answers below :)
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Date: 2010-11-14 18:19
Security: Public
Music:No One's Gonna Love You- Band of Horses
Hey guys, sorry I have been completely m.i.a. lately :(

We need to spread the word though...

Everyone please go vote for Kristen!

Vote Here: The Richard Attenborough Film Awards - Film Star of 2010

She had a really strong start leading 90%, but now she has dropped down to 40%. Angelina Jolie fans are voting a ton.

You can vote multiple times, so please please please spread the word and keep voting! Kristen deserves it <3


Love you guys,


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Date: 2010-08-18 23:35
Subject: Survey! I want to know more about everyone on here (:
Security: Public
Music:Crimson and Clover- Joan Jett & the Blackhearts
Dude, I know...I suck. I haven't updated in forever and the creative juices haven't been flowing. So I thought maybe we could learn more about each other on here. If you're bored like me, fill this out and post it in a comment.

I promise to start a new fic soon!


00. Favorite fanfiction you have ever read?
My all time favorite is Two-thousand Eight by lindseyrkrpf. Epic.

01. What time do you wake up in the morning?
It's summer so it totally depends, but during school like 6.

02. If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be?
Kristen Stewart.

03. Gold or silver?
Either, but I wear more silver.

04. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Dinner for Schmucks. Haha it was stupid, but actually pretty funny.

05. Favorite TV show?
I used to be obsessed with Gilmore Girls, but it's not on anymore :(
Now I watch Gossip Girl and SNL.

06. What do you have for breakfast?
I don't each breakfast normally.

07. Who would you hate to be left in a room with?
Anyone that I don't like.

08. Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
YES! I'm very proud of that haha.

09. What inspires you?
Movies, music, and Kristen Stewart. That girl is everything that I want to be.

10. What's your middle name?

11. Beach, city or country?
Beach or city. I would love to live in southern california where there's a mix of both.

12. Summer or winter?
Summer...I'm a california girl.

13. Favorite ice cream?
Cookie dough or chocolate

14. Favorite time of the day?
Night time. I love staying up really late...it's peaceful.

15. Favorite color?
That changes a lot.
To wear- black
In general- light blue

16. Favorite car?
Mini cooper!

17. Favorite sandwich filling?
Chicken, cheese, and rach dressing. yum.

18. True love?
I hope so.

19. What characteristics do you despise?
People that try so hard and end up being fake. Oh and disloyalty is the worst.

20. Favorite flower?

21. If you had a big win in the lottery, how long would you wait to tell people?
I would tell a select few people right away, but not let it be too known. That could end badly haha.

22. Fizzy or still water to drink?
Uh still I guess? Just normal bottled water.

23. What color is your bathroom?
Tan with maroon accents.

24. How many keys on your ring?
Two. One for my car and one house key.

25. Where would you retire to?
A beach city in the LA area.

26. Can you juggle, how many?
No :(

27. Favorite day of the week?

28. Red or white wine?
Well I'm only seventeen so I don't know much about this. However, from what I have tasted of red wine...ew.

29. What did you do for your last birthday?
I went on a roadtrip to Florida and New Orleans (:

30. Do you carry a donor card?

31. Who do you least expect to send this back to you??????
I don't know, people probably won't do it haha.

32. Name one thing about you most people wouldn't guess?
I'm not as innocent as some people think. I swear sometimes people look at me as being so sweet and naive. I actually think they would be surprised to some things about me.

33. Do you curse?
Oh..not all that fucking much (;

34. Whats your thoughts on smoking or alcohol?

Smoking- It's your own choice, but hopefully I will never have that addiction. I already know to avoid them because I love the smell and would probably become hooked if I ever tried it. I do have a smoking fetish though. Haha blame that on Robert Pattinson...I see that man with a cig and it's UNF.

Alcohol- Honestly, I don't see the problem if its kept in moderation.
35. What is a dream of yours?
If I had the guts, I would move out to LA and try my hand at getting into screenwriting. Sadly...I don't have the guts.
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Date: 2010-05-16 01:19
Subject: Fallen Beauty
Security: Public
Music:General Specific- Band of Horses
Title: Fallen Beauty
Summary: Robsten Drabble. If only she was beautiful enough...
Rating: PG-13, slight language.
Disclaimer: I don't own them

A/N: This was just a little drabble that I really needed to write, mainly for personal reasons. I kinda threw this together right now at 2 in the morning, so hopefully its okay. Thanks for reading.

Her finger dips into the bottle of foundation before coating her skin and the imperfections--taking extra care of covering the freckles splashed amongst her cheeks and nose. Sweeping the bronzer brush over her features, she presses harder...desperately hoping to add some color to her naturally pale complexion. Next she focuses on her eyes, lining them with black and coating her lashes in dark mascara. Her lips are covered in a peachy gloss, making them appear plumper than usual. When she's satisfied with her make-up, she fixes her hair...making sure it falls correctly into place. She then checks her outfit, analyzing the way her dress shows her legs, and accentuates her petite chest.

She hears him struggling with the key, before entering their apartment. Taking one final look in the mirror, she makes sure she looks her best before their date on their night off from filming. When he enters their bedroom, he sees her in the same spot where she has spent the majority of her time in the past few weeks. There she stands, criticizing the very thing he loves most in the world.

Turning her around he takes her face between his hands. 'Kris...I hate this...what you're doing.' His thumbs sweep across her cheeks, a frown apparent on his face when he feels the thick make-up against his fingers. A tear escapes her emerald eye, a black trail following behind it, marking her skin. 'I just want to be beautiful for you.' Shaking his head in anger, he picks her up by the back of her thighs, carrying her to the bathroom counter. He turns the faucet on beside her, taking a wash cloth and dipping it under the water. Tears fall more rapidly down her cheeks, ashamed of what she has come to. She once was just a teenage girl, self-assured and not willing to take shit from anyone. Now two years later, she can barely look at herself in the mirror--afraid to fall short of high expectations and the constant scrutiny.

She's too skinny, she must starve herself. Why does she always look stoned? Are those bags underneath her eyes permanent? She should buy a fucking hairbrush. How could she have chosen that outfit? She looks so miserable. And the worst one...How could he ever want to be with her? She's not good enough for him.

She wasn't good enough for him. That fact alone made her want to shrink away from his loving touch. Closing her eyes, she allows a shaky breath to escape deep from her lungs as he moves the wash cloth over her face. First he smooths the cloth over her eyes. Once nothing is hiding their beauty, he presses a kiss to each of her eyelids. He re-wets the wash cloth before smoothing it over her cheeks and nose. He smiles when he sees her freckles come back into view and dips his mouth down to kiss each and every one amongst her alabaster skin. Finally he rubs the cloth over her lips, removing the sticky intruder. With nothing is in the way, he kisses her achingly as he attempts to show every ounce of love he has for her. When they are forced to part for a breath, he picks her back off of the counter and carries her to their bed. Sitting her down he unzips the back of the dress letting it fall to the ground. Searching in the pile of dirty clothes scattered amongst their floor, he finds her favorite old t-shirt of his. He brings her arms up over her head, before letting the loose material fall over her torso. Laying her back against the pillows, he moves himself over her body. His hands weave up in her hair, before ruffling it with his fingers, making it hang in its usual messy waves.

He gazes down at her with a smile, before pressing his forehead against her own. 'This is beautiful,' he whispers. 'This is you.'
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Date: 2010-05-12 21:41
Subject: One fic recommendation that I will stand by forever...
Security: Public
Music:Better Man-Pearl Jam
Hey guys, sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been meaning to continue 'Such Certain Ambiguity' but it looks like it will probably be a few weeks until I will get started on it. I will finally be out of school for the summer :)

Anyways, I just wanted to reccommend one of my all time favorite pieces of fiction ever written. The fic is 'Two Thousand Eight' by lindseyrkrpf. This story began before there was any real proof of Robsten, but when many of us out there noticed the chemistry between them and hoped for them to be together. The story details everything that happened in their year, from the Twilight audition all the way to the beginning of 2009. I honestly have never felt so strongly in my love for a work of fanfiction. I have read it numerous times and each time I find more appreciation for this amazing story. It is so raw and believable that I almost find myself thinking that it is the true account of how they fell in love. 
Seriously, go read it. You will not be sorry <3
Ashlie (robkristenlove)
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Date: 2010-04-14 22:56
Subject: (no subject)
Security: Public

Title: Such Certain Ambiguity
Rating: Mild R for language
Pairing: R/K...duh
Summary: Late night visits. Set back in the good ol' days of filming twilight.
Disclaimer: I don't own them...sad day.

As the steady rain beat down upon the roof of Rob's apartment, he lay sprawled out on the couch--his limbs hanging off the sides totally limp with exhaustion. His exhaustion did not come from physical exertion, but rather from the complicated mess that was his thoughts. He missed her. Fuck, it had only been a matter of hours from when he had seen her on set. But it was Friday night, their night. The night when they could forget about the struggles of filming, and simply be together. While the rest of the cast would go out and party, they prefered to stay in and 'run lines' or 'get extra rehearsal time in.' Everyone had always mocked their closeness, laughing at their idea of a fun and recognizing the growing bond between them. Although they sensed that very bond, they never could truly understand just how deep their connection was. Never before had Rob felt so helplessly in love.  She managed to take his heart for her own and lord knew he would never get it back. He wouldn't ever want that though. Even if he did it would be a mere fraction of the original--beating just enough to keep him alive, but never escalating to the level his chest pounded each time she entered a room.

Tonight Kristen would be spending their night with her boyfriend. He couldn't even manage to call him that without feeling the vile rise in his throat. He knew she was scared of leaving behind what was safe to her, so he waited. He would wait as long as it took until he could finally call her his own. Even if a decade passed with their love still consisting of hidden text messages and late night hotel room visits, he could make do. She was worth that much. He wouldn't dare to ask for more, for she had already given him everything he needed to breathe. Just her being Kristen was more than what he deserved. They gave every bit of themselves to each other, but yet she always had the upper-hand on him. She would take more and more of him, always asking and him always supplying. And though confessions of love fell softly from her lips, she did not have the strength to scream it to the world. Rob would excuse this, hoping that one day they could walk hand in hand for everyone to see. She was the most thunderous storm in his sky, but the light that unfailingly followed never ceased to calm the tragedy of their situation.

Now Rob lay stuck in the same position on the sofa--a cigarette held loosely between his lips, letting the nicotine fill his lungs and take over his thoughts. The couch felt empty without her next to him, her body snuggled against his own and her head placed perfectly on his chest.
Just as he began to let the rain lull him to sleep, he heard a pounding at the door. It was a little before midnight as he dragged himself slowly away from the couch, cursing as he tripped over an empty Heneiken bottle. 'Fuck, chill out...I'm coming.' He swung open the door, surprised to see the very person he had hoped for. She was drenched by the rain--her favorite  t-shirt of his clung to her skin and her jeans stuck tightly to her legs.

"Kris...what are you doing here?' She paused, shaking her head and running her hand nervously through her wet hair. 'I...I missed you. I needed to see you.' Leaning against the door frame, he scoffed, 'Yeah, well apparently not as much as your...Michael.' She hung her head, not standing to see the sadness that was so present in his eyes. He continued, 'Just leave...please. I can't stand to see what I'm losing.' Taking a deep breath, Kristen looked up searching his pain-filled eyes. 'You're not losing me, Rob. I'm here, dammit!  Every second I spent with him tonight, I thought of your stupid fucking british ass. Because I admit it okay...I love you, I fucking love you so much I can't even think straight right now. I...' Before she could finish her rambling, Rob cut her off--silencing her with his lips. Tugging on her damp shirt, he pulled her inside, pushing her against the door. His lips search hers, parting them with his tongue as he explores her mouth. Kissing his way down her neck, her head falls back with a thud, as a moan escapes her lips. Her hands clench at his messy hair, pulling him as close as possible. Grabbing the back of her thighs, he lifts her up--her limbs clinging around his body. Never stopping his sweet invasion of her mouth, he carries her to his bedroom. Setting her down carefully, he moves standing between her parted legs. Their lips break apart, as a sigh escapes her mouth. They stay like this for a while--their foreheads pushed together, Rob inhaling her shaky breaths...his eyes closed tightly, savoring the feel of her all around him. 'You know...its only 11:56...which is technically still our date night. Which means I'm not as much of a screw up as I feel.' Leaning away from her, he takes a look at her tear-stained face before stroking them away with his thumbs. 'You're here now, aren't you?'

She nods, her eyes green pools of emotion. 'I'm here.'

AN: I'm planning on continuing this, but I'm kind of unsure right now. This will be my first multi-chapter fic, so we'll see how it goes.

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Date: 2010-03-29 21:32
Subject: Dear new friends,
Security: Public
Music:The Funeral-Band of Horses
Hey guys, recently I have a lot of people add me. My journal is open, without a friends lock, and I would really like to keep it that way. I know how annoying it can be when you are searching for fics and you can't even read some of them because you are not a member. With that said, it does kind of creep me out when people add me and their profile is completely blank. It makes me wonder who exactly is reading what I post on here, especially when it takes a lot for me to get the guts to post a story.

So please, if you are a friend of mine, I would love it if you would just comment on here with a little something. Just so I can ease my worries and be more willing to keep this an open journal.

I really would love to hear from you! Thanks so much for supporting me.

WIth love,
Ashlie (robkristenlove)
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Date: 2010-01-27 15:28
Subject: Hey everyone!
Security: Public
Music:Cherry Bomb-The Runaways
Hey everyone! I have noticed a bunch of people adding me lately, so I just wanted to say hello and thanks! I haven't been writing much lately...AP English 3 is a killer and completely ruins the fun part of writing for me. I think I will get back into it though, but I am sadly at a loss of ideas.

If there's anything you would like to request, I will totally take it into consideration!
No promises on how it turns out, I am still trying to find my way around in this world of fanfiction. The one thing I do know, is that I love to think up these stories. All day at school, my mind is in a place far away from what we are learning. Translating those daydreams into written words is the difficult part. I am doing my best to figure that part out.

Anyways, just comment with requests or anything! R/K is my thing, so yeah anything with those two loves will work.

Robsten forever <3
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Date: 2009-11-24 01:02
Subject: Your Ex-Lover Is Dead
Security: Public
Music:Bon Iver
Title: Your Ex-Lover Is Dead
Summary: Michael reflects on what he lost.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, sad.
Authors Note: Just to be clear, this is R/K. I in no way support Michael, but I guess we can feel sorry for the guy. In case you don't know, the song is Beside You-Van Morrison. Thanks for reading!

Mike POV:

The simple band on her delicate hand would not go unnoticed by me. One year, 3 months, five days from the moment it all fell apart. That gloomy day in November when she realized that I would never be enough. It was bound to happen, it really was. All of the stolen glances, the text messages declaring their love, and the last minute 'rehearsals' were just some of the signs. Two co-stars fall head-over-heels for each other when filming the epic romance of the century. It was so cliche, but it was the truth. That night in Rome was just the breaking point. I couldn't be him. Fuck him. He could never love her like I did, never be able to take from me the years I spent with her growing up. I was her first everything, and that was one thing he could never have.

The place looked amazing. The patio of the secluded inn was strung with lights that reflected off the large dance floor. A large sign hung, "Happy Birthday Nikki!' above the jazz band. The floor was filled with people--some I recognized but not who I was hoping to see.
I knew they would be there for Nikki. A part of me wanted to see what I was missing out on, a part of me felt the right to come--I was Nikki's friend before they were. But even though I suspected their presence, my heart couldn't help but fall to my feet when I caught them from the corner of my eye. They were huddled together on the sofa. Kristen on his lap, her arms wrapped around his neck, hugging him close to her. I watched as he kissed her forehead, then the bridge of her nose, down to her cheek...slowly torturing her. Grabbing his face, she giggled before forcing him to her lips. When they leaned back from each other, they smiled.

After a while of making myself endure the sight before me, the band started up with a song. Rob's draw dropped in excitement before grabbing Kristen's hand and dragging her to the dance floor. As she stood I got a better view of what I lost. She was wearing a little black strapless dress and heels that showed off the long, pale legs I always cherished. Her reddish-brown hair fanned across her shoulders in messy waves, and her emerald eyes stood out in the moonlight. Rob wrapped her arms around his neck before his own hands found his place on her slender hips.

And I'll stand beside you. Beside you, Oh darlin'.
To never never wonder why at all
No no no no no

They rocked back in forth, swaying to the song that seemed to hold some meaning to them. A whisper in Rob's ear lead to an 'I love you' to fall from his lips in a soft sigh. Closing his eyes, he breathed in her scent. A mixture I knew to be of cigarettes, and the sweet shampoo that she always used.

You breathe in you breathe out you breathe in you breathe out
And you're high on your high-flyin' cloud
Wrapped up in your magic shroud as ecstasy surrounds you

As she reached up to grab the back of his head, leaning her forehead against his own, I noticed the piece of metal that did not belong on her finger. A gold band lined with small diamonds, simple and elegant just like her. I tried to reason with myself that it wasn't necessarily an engagement ring. The girl I knew used to curse people who married young claiming that it was a stupid, and irrational choice. Kristen had just turned twenty, there was no way. But as if on que, Rob took their laced hands and pressed a long kiss to the finger with the ring, smiling and gazing into her eyes like there was no one else in the room.

Later that night after Nikki opened her gifts, I saw Kristen heading towards the restrooms. I stood waiting outside for her, unaware of what I was going to say or what I hoped would come from speaking to her.

When she saw me, she frowned. 'So I see you two are happy together,' I said while fixing my eyes on her ring finger. Lifting her hand to face my direction she scoffed, 'See for yourself.' My jaw clenched as I stared at the band, noticing a small inscripture on the outside. To my love, forever beside you. Seeing my tension, she sighed. 'People change Michael. The moment I met him, I just knew. I'm sorry for stringing you on all that time, but I can't....I can't be sorry for falling in love with him.' The pain of last year flooded back to me, along with the memories of a time when we were happy. Raising my voice I groaned, 'Your making a mistake, Krissy.'

'No, I'm making the best decision of my life.'

And with that she walked away. Away from me and to the man that I could never be for her.
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Date: 2009-10-03 21:07
Subject: A Girl Can Dream-drabble
Security: Public

Title: A Girl Can Dream
Rating: PG
Summary: Just a short drabble. If only they could escape it all.
Disclaimer: They own me, not the other way around.
A/N: Not my best work, just a little something.

"Isabella Swan? I promise to love you forever--every single day of forever. Will you marry me?"

My vision was blurring. Hearing these words, I had to close my eyes trying to memorize the way they sounded. Except I replaced Isabella with Kris, and traded his american accent with the british one that I  loved so much.

"Yes" I whispered. Opening my eyes, I saw him still knelt in front of me. He looked at me with that crooked little smile that was so purely him as he slid the diamond ring onto my left finger.


Thank god. I needed to get out of here. Turning without another word, I pushed through the door of the set, Rob two steps behind me the entire time. The cool Vancuover air hit me startingly in the face as I tried to ignore the stinging beneath my eyelids.

'Kris, stop! What are you doing? 'Kris..look at me.'
I turned around, tears spilling down my cheeks against my will.  Closing the distance between us, Rob grabbed my face between his hands as he slowly wiped away the wetness gathering under my eyes with his thumbs.

'Tell me Kris, I'll make it better. I promise.'

I couldn't deny that one. That was one thing I knew to be true in this life of mine.

'I...I can't help but think that..that sorta thing can never happen for us.' I mumbled my words, embarresed. 'That we can never have that whole-- get married, have babies, live happily ever after thing. Not with everyone watching, with all this hiding.'

His beautiful face was scrunched up in worry, his eyebrows knitting together in deep thought.

'We can have that, I promise. We can leave right now. Escape all of this...this life. We'll go somewhere and just be together. That's all I want, all I will ever want.  Cause I want you Kris, god I need you more than anything... So that's what we will do. We can get married in a little church with just our families, and create mini perfect versions of you, and grow old together, and we'll be happy. I promise you.'

His sweet British voice rambled on and on, reinforcing everything I needed to hear. I was sobbing, shaking with sadness, and happiness, and fear. His arms wrap around me, holding me, rocking me back and forth. He places kisses all over my hair and forehead, as he rubs soothing circles down my back. My tears fall more slowly, the pain starts to fade.

There's nothing wrong with dreaming.
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